This wasn't supposed to go this way. This was supposed to be peace, silence, productive, effective and my best excuse to shun the world and work on my book. Did I say book? There it is. A subtle book announcement. Yes, world and non readers: that is my big secret project. a book. And this quarantine was supposed to be the perfect environment for me to work as productively as possible and create a masterpiece. Shakespeare style.
But no. The unthinkable happened. I got sick.
Monday & Tuesday: Just a sore throat. But I was fine. I was knowledge thirsty and studied a bunch but I did not feel like writing... so I didn't.
Wednesday: In the morning I woke up so tired I thought "fuck it, I'll rest." And the fever got me the rest of the day and I felt so sick I wanted to cry.
Thursday: Fatigue in the morning. Lots of rest and Sex and the City binge watching the rest of the day. No fever. Just the normal cold sluggishness.
Friday: Oh that's today... Coughing and lots of mucus. But I got around to collaging. And writing this blog. So I can go back to Sex and the City now. We good.
Well no, I'll share some thoughts. At first I thought 'Stupid people complaining about being bored when there's so much they could be reading, studying, creating!' I mean my life isn't so different from the quarantine after all and I'm not the only one out there who feels that way. But then, this entire week I've done none of the things I usually do: meditating, exercising, writing, creating, reading, studying. After my big fever hit on Wednesday, I've only done some reading in small slots because being sick I had no mental energy whatsoever.
And I decided that it was okay. It was okay to give myself the time to reset. To do what I never let myself do! Binge watch brain shrinking TV shows that are twenty years old, eat whatever I want, not exercise, meditate for lesser amounts of time, collage stupid shit instead of "oh this must be serious conceptual artwork" shit. Just be. It's a lesson I had to learn and am learning during these apocalyptic times. To find joy, to play, and to let loose and relax.
I had to give myself this break. A sort of vacation. Because writing a book is hard. Choosing to be an artist is hard. Taking a chance on things that other people call a "hobby" and being seriously misunderstood for it... is hard. So hey, fuck it. Give yourself what you want and when you want it. You deserve it.
As for me, I'm going to go back to watching Sex and the City now. Also enjoying the fact that no more fuckboys are asking me out anymore because I might have corona. That's a victory in my world.
Cheers! Happy Quarantine to you!
Ps. I might have had the virus, don't know. Will isolate for 15 days just in case. There are way too few testing kits in the city to waste on me. So yeah: health update. I'm at the mild symptoms stage. Just a flu. I'm okay. STAY HOME, imbeciles.