The last few weeks have been rough as I drift between emotions of shame, fear, anxiety and sadness sprinkled with anger, loneliness and feeling lost. I can feel a big shift happening where I have to take reigns over my life and it is terrifying due to all the uncertainty that we are facing in the world right now (#COVID19.) This is where it's up to me to decide whether I want to spend my days worrying and wallowing all day or instead, work towards the reality I want for me and my future.
Let me tell you. It's a decision you have to make daily and it's not an easy one to make. It's a lot easier to sulk and tell all your friends and family members how worried you are. But I'm a strong believer in the law of attraction and until I decide to stop whining and feeling like a victim I will not attract what I need and want in my life.
So here are three simple steps I am taking towards remaining calm in a moment of high stress and attracting what I do want (results to be announced):
I've felt sad and a desire to cry a couple times a week. When those moments come, I lock myself in my room and let everyone in the house (I live with my family) know I am going to meditate. I put a guided meditation on my phone since I am needing the extra support right now and I breathe with my eyes closed in front of my altar (I have a small altar in my room with a Buddha that I like to meditate in front of.)
You don't need an altar. You don't even need to play a guided meditation on Youtube. But sometimes you do need to have things around you to give you that push or inspiration to sit and breathe. Also, be flexible about your methods. I used to meditate on my own and hated guided meditations but now I can see myself needing a voice to lead the way for me to enter a meditative mind space. In the past, my ego would have been like “Do your vipassana. Guided meditations are for the weak...”, but my current self says, “Fuck it. Whatever will help me do the thing.”
On the days I've felt sad, I've put on the search engine “Guided meditation on sadness” and it has helped me release a lot of emotions that otherwise would stay in my body and linger. Heck, maybe even have me react negatively in other situations just because I'm carrying those emotions with me. What I've learned is that sometimes you just need to feel them out in order to release them and not overanalyze what they mean or what you have to do to “resolve” them. Sometimes, there's nothing to resolve. All you have to do is allow them to flow through your body. They'll leave, believe me. Nothing is forever. That applies to both positive and negative emotions.
The moment I write what I'm feeling down, it's sort of out of me as well because I feel like I've talked about it with someone. It's not only a way to vent but a way to gain clarity too whether it's in the moment or in the future. When you write it down, you're physically putting your thoughts on paper and you can read it the next day and understand what you're feeling better.
I am a huge overthinker so writing things down helps me get it out of my mind and onto a page. The next day or a few days later, I gain clarity because the emotions aren't as intense anymore which helps me to communicate better when these emotions have to do with situations with other people or even with dealing with stress within myself. It's a way to talk to yourself. I'll sometimes read my old journals and feel like I'm reading a stranger's words. I can either be very proud of that person or feel sad for that person but mostly it helps to see how much I've grown from then. To actually see all the struggles I've been through and surpassed helps me feel stronger, wiser and more confident in the present moment.
3. Praying/Manifesting through Spirit Guides, Angels, the Universe, God... take your pick:
Okay, so this is where most would say “That's too mystic for me.” But it helps. Even if it's just to give you a sweet little placebo effect.
I like to connect with something higher than me, whatever it may be. Call it god, the universe, angels, spirit guides, etc. It doesn't actually matter. And it doesn't actually matter whether you believe or not. I have days where I really believe and days where I don't. And most days I forget to simply pray and speak to something beyond me. Some days I feel silly, others I feel very connected and feel taken care of by the universe. It helps me trust more. Especially when I see results. Which again... sometimes happen, sometimes don't.
The point is, it helps to attract what you want because you are asking and be grateful to something you don't physically see and you are putting your desires outhere and trusting in something beyond just yourself. When I'm feeling powerless and stuck, this really helps me. It's like I surrender myself to whatever may happen.
There's a book I read on this subject called “Super Attractor” by Gabrielle Bernstein. She teaches you how to attract what you want through more spiritual means. She has another one I haven't read yet called “The Universe has your Back” by the same author. Worth checking out.
So how do I do this? After I meditate and have found the state of peace and calmness, I simply thank my spirit guide for being in the room for me. I say her complete name. You can choose people in your life who have past away and who you feel close to, an angel, even just the universe or higher power. Whatever you feel comfortable with.
I've gotten intuitive answers from these connections when I reach out and actually try to communicate with something beyond me. Even if I just think about and imagine what it would be like to have what I desire, feel what it would feel like and then feel grateful for it.
I put it out there and then I let go as if it was already done and in my life. I carry this feeling of joy the desire gives me through the rest of the day with me.
Usually I will have small things happen for me that I have to keep my eyes open for and be grateful that they have arrived. Sometimes they seem small and silly but are stepping stones to something bigger. Sometimes it's as simple as finally finding the program I'd been searching for to study online which will help me get to that bigger goal. It's not about a big miraculous event, it's about getting closer to what you want and being grateful and aware of those small steps. Even celebrating them. (I write them down and take the time to be grateful for them in order to keep attracting more! Honour them, dude. Honour the small things.)
Without a doubt you'll be turning your anxiety, concerns and frustrations around if you did this every day or every week, at the very least. It works for me.
And so there it is. Those are my three small steps that I have taken when I am feeling sad, low, demotivated, worried, anxious or frustrated.
You'd think “talking to a friend” would be one of the steps and believe me, it is. I talk to my friends a lot about what I am feeling and I've also started going to a therapist. But in the end, these are the small steps that I take where it is ME owning and taking responsibility for my own feelings and for turning them around.
It will always help to talk to your loved ones and they may help you find perspective and offer much needed support. But to put the responsibility on them to help you find the answers you're looking for or to help you feel better is unfair and can be draining to them. I think we have to be wary on the amount of negative energy we can place on others and be careful when we solely depend on that kind of support versus doing some things to feel better on our own. It's one thing to vent, and it's another to always be that person complaining to them.
I bet you've had a friend who you get tired of talking to because they're always complaining. So don't be that person. Take charge. And hey, even sharing with them what you've done to deal with your negative feelings may inspire them with their own struggles. And there's another plus! Helping others is huge to turning sadness around.